Gary Chapman on Teamwork in Marriage

Dr. Gary Chapman always has good things to say about marriage.  This came from his Love Language Minute today.

Who cleans the commode at your house?  Has it always been true?  If you are the one who cleans, are you happy with this arrangement?  Who takes care of what in a marriage?  This is the question that often leads to conflict.  Many couples do not agree on these issues before marriage.  They wake up six weeks into the marriage to discover that no one is cleaning the commode.

If this is a trouble spot for you, let me encourage you to take action.  Make a list of all the things that must be done on a regular basis.  Put your initials beside the ones that you think are your responsibilities.

Ask your spouse to do the same.  Then negotiate your differences.  Try it for six weeks and see how it works.  Re-negotiate if necessary.  Remember that you are a team!

Who does the taxes at your house?  I must confess that role is mine in the Chapman household.  It’s not a task I relish, but I’ve done it each year since the beginning of our marriage.  Why me?  Why not her?  In our case, it’s at my wife’s request.  She doesn’t mind writing numbers as long as they are on the face of a check. But when it comes to balancing the check book, she says it hurts her stomach.

Each of us have skills and interests, likes and dislikes, and these tend to guide us as we decide how to work together as a team in marriage.  It really doesn’t matter who files the taxes, but it’s nice if we can agree. Agreement brings harmony.  That’s what marriage is all about – husband and wife working together for the common good.

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One thought on “Gary Chapman on Teamwork in Marriage

  1. This is nice. There are many responsibilities that after 5 years of marriage have just kind of floated around. Some that used to belong to one of us and have seemed to drift away into the neither of us category. I enjoy the exercise idea of making a list and seperately putting our initials down. It will be a wake up call for us, I am sure.

    Author Philip Kledzik

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